Paid Family Leave Gave Me Something My Dad Never Had—Time

Seven months ago, my wife and I welcomed our third child, a daughter.

These days, one of my favorite moments of fatherhood is watching her face light up when she sees me. Even as a third time father, that feeling never wears out its welcome. I recently watched her learn to lift her head to look at me during tummy time, a small milestone that parents know is actually a very big moment as their baby learns how to interact with the world around them.

Being there to witness these moments has been incredibly rewarding and makes me think of my dad who rarely had the opportunity to experience these important “firsts” with me and my siblings because of work.

Like many fathers, especially in immigrant families, my dad worked long hours each day to provide for our family. Most of my interactions with him happened on weekends because work occupied so much of his time during the week. He showed his love for us every day through sacrifice, responsibility, and hard work. That experience shaped me and our relationship.

As a father myself, I have come to realize that there is another way to show love: being present. That is a hard cultural shift, especially in the Asian American community. It has become harder to maintain a proper work-life balance with the role of provider and caretaker becoming more blurred.

Unfortunately, taking time off work is a challenge for many new fathers due to the perceived financial hardship it would cause, often resulting in them choosing to sacrifice time with their kids for financial stability. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

The Employment Development Department (EDD) offers programs like Paid Family Leave that provide families with financial support during major life events such as the birth of a new child. This makes it possible for both parents to take time off work while still being paid to be present and a part of their kid’s critical first months of life.

This is especially relevant as we approach Father’s Day.

For generations, fathers were expected to focus on earning a living, with caregiving and bonding with children often left to mothers. This expectation hasn’t changed entirely, but it is changing. The role of fatherhood is evolving, with studies showing that fathers and mothers provide complementary parenting styles that offer their children safety and stability as they mature and grow. Today, more fathers are taking an active role at home, and EDD’s Paid Family Leave program is helping to make that possible.

I believe this wholeheartedly. My wife and I used Paid Family Leave when our daughter was born. The flexibility of the program allowed us to use it in a way that worked for us and our needs. We chose to split our time, with her taking leave first and me taking leave after her, to ensure our daughter always had one of us with her during her first months of life. The time we spent at home also benefited our older children.

For new fathers, my advice is to start planning early and take the time to learn more about Paid Family Leave. Gather the information needed to apply before the birth of your child and work with your employer to make sure everything is ready. The application process is easy and can be done online, providing applicants with updates throughout the process to make it stress-free.

I hope more fathers, especially within our Asian American community, take advantage of the free programs and benefits available to them, giving them and their families the time they deserve. Many precious moments only happen once, and if they are missed, they are gone forever. The time taken can be essential in the most impactful years of your child’s life, and taking time for your child is one of the most important things you can do as a parent.

Learn more about the Paid Family Leave program by visiting edd.ca.gov/PaidFamilyLeave.